closet · masochist

Who knew that March in New York would be so freaking cold?

I just got back and I must say I am airported out. Too bad I have to go to work tomorrow and Atlanta on Thursday. I just want to sleep for about 15 hours.

I am going to crawl into bed and pray for sweet dreams.

Nighty night with a cherry on top.

P.S. I can now say I have been to the Nexus of the Universe. (2 points to whoever can get that reference)

Oh, and I have a new nickname. Just call me Mel.

Today is the anniversary of the plane crash that claimed the lives of Buddy Holly, Richie Valens, Big Bopper.

Today is also the first time my little Hannah rode in an airplane. I am happy to report that she and Steven are safe and sound and on the ground in Alabama.

I just watched Scrubs, broadway style. It was the best musical I have ever seen. And I saw Dreamgirls a couple of weeks ago. I guess that says something about Dreamgirls.

In other news, I slipped and fell on butt today. I am not used to icy porches. I think if I was drunk it would have made the thing a lot more romantic. Speaking of getting drunk. I really need a liquor cabinet. Today, I learned that Parliment has 7 (yes, I typed seven) bars. I think America would be a lot more productive if alcohol was readily available at work.

I am getting a mac from work. Yippie for me.

A good thing about living in Charlotte. You can get airline tickets to NYC for $150.

So, I was halfway watching American Idol tonight. I must say Paula drunk has got to be the highlight of the American Idol season thus far:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zt5-wn3fvlw

I was watching some horrible singer be humilated on national television, and I started laughing. Oliver walks into the room, and says "Mom, don't laugh. How would you like people to be mean to you like that?" Sorta killed the whole make fun of horrible singers mood. So, I flipped the channel and Fargo was on.

Let me tell you, whenever you feel like your life is in the shitter, just watch Fargo. Because no matter how much you have screwed things up. I can bet that you haven't had your spouse kidnapped and you aren't stuck in some frozen tundra hell. It sorta puts life into perspective. Also, they should really do a Broadway musical. Fargo set to music would be hillllarous!

I was in a meeting with our CFO today, and I here a knock on the door. Outside stands an engineer who looks like he has just seen a ghost. He says, "we have an IT emergency" I am thinking the server blew up or someone's computer is on fire. He then says, "we can't get the projector to work" So, I go into the other conference room and there are five Italian engineers and three American engineers standing around a projector. I must tell you it took everything I had not to start laughing. One of them actually says, "do you think it isn't working because it is an Italian computer" Talk about racial profiling. I work my magic and the projector starts working and I get a standing ovation. Moral of the story: Modern computer user= witchdoctor.

List time!

Move over Martha Stewart, here is my list of good things:
Illy espresso with steamed milk. Can you say heaven?
Cigarettes. I know they are really bad for you, but is there anything better than smoking after a stressful day?
Having a husband that does laundry (I love you Steven)
Thinking Rock. This is a must for all of you busy people. http://www.thinkingrock.com.au/
If you don't have it, get it.
Also http://www.43folders.com/ another must for all of you busy people.
Jeans
Baby girls who smile- Ms. Hannah Grace is the epitomy of sweetness.
Little boys who love their mommas- Oliver is the most sensitive,beautiful little boy
Vacations
Planning vacations
thinking about vacations
http://www.pandora.com/ just go there and listen. It is the best.

Here is some yang to go with the yin:

List of bad things:
Old people that don't know jack about computers. Must they start screeching when the littlest thing goes wrong? Must they say they need another computer because this one is broken?
Fat monitors- I need to buy a flat screen monitor
Messes (is this how you spell it?)
Not getting enough sleep
indecisive people
People who play the victim
People who complain and do nothing to improve their situation

1. Can you cook?

2. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator?

3. What talent do you wish you had?

4. Favorite place?

5. Favorite vegetable?

6. What was the last book you read?

7. Are you Dirty or Clean?

8. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings?

9. Worst Habit?

HERE COMES THE FUN ... ... ...

1. Do we know each other outside of Livejournal?

2. What's your philosophy on life?

3. Negative or Optimistic?

4. What was your dream growing up?

5. Worst thing to ever happen to you?

6. Do you think I'm hot or not?

7. Tell me one weird fact about you:

8. Would you have my back or kick me when I'm down?

9. Do you Trust me?

10. Have you ever kept anything from me?

11. What do you think of me as a Person?

12. Do you think I'm sane or insane?

13. Would you cry for me if I died?

14. Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?

15. If you could change anything about me, would you?

16. How do you fall asleep?

17. Would you come over to yell at me or just call?

18. Would you go on a blind date if I set you up?

19. If I only had one day to live would you be honest or lie?

20. A million bucks.. what would you do with it?

21. What is your worst fear?

22. Favorite thing to do in your spare time?

23. Would you rather be a vegetable or a mineral?

24. Can you sing or dance?

25. In one word, how would you describe me? Be honest...

26. Will you re-post this so I can fill it out?

	Stick em up!!
	Making people melt is my superpower
	Cherub face
	I am beautiful

Why is it everytime I begin a diet, I always develop a (insert adjective of choice) headache? No wonder why so many diets fail. I think I am going to invent a diet drug. It isn't going to curb hunger or make you burn fat faster. It is simply going to give you a slightly high feeling (minus the munchie factor, of course) It will also allow you to feel like you are floating. Thus you will automatically feel lighter and feel like you are instantly losing weight.

Another side effect of the intitial eating right phase, you feel zapped of all energy because of the lack of caffeine. Thus, the whole working out thing doesn't even start until after the first three weeks.

When I was in labor (both times) I remember telling myself: this is only temporary, it can't last forever. I think the philosophy of this too will pass will last me the first 20 pounds. I am hoping that some new ray of inspiration will quickly follow.

It is really bad when your motivations for losing weight don't have anything to do with vanity, but with the lack of energy that results in hauling an extra (insert obscene number of your choice) of weight around.

I am formulating my new year resolutions list. Here are a few:
Get more sleep
Better time management
Make my savings account grow
Buy a piece of excercise machinery and use it
buy an ipod
lose some weight
Get my hair highlighted
Get new glasses
Go on a vacation somewhere I have never been before (hopefully NY)
Make a to do list everyday
Organize my house
Visit temple more often
Develop a social life

In other news, Hannah is so close to walking. She walks around everything and even lets go sometimes. I give it another 2 weeks and she will be running around. I can't believe her birthday is on the 24th. I am going to have a party for her.

Yawn, it looks like I am going to observe the first item on my resolution list tonight. I am headed to bed.

Things that make it impossible to be in a bad mood:
Watching The Sound of Music
Hearing Hannah Grace and Oliver giggle uncontrollably
Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream in a waffle cone
Jacuzzis
Bose Headphones (I just figured this one out at Target. Have you ever put those things on? They are like cushy little ear pillows filled with the best sound in the world)
Losing 5 pounds
Knowing that I am going to have the whole week of x-mas off
Freshly laundered high thread count sheets that are still warm from the dryer
Comfy pajamas
Those massaging chairs that are in all of the major department stores (I really need to invest in one of those)
Getting a pedicure
Scented candles and jazz
listening to eighties music

Things that make it entirely possible to be in a bad mood:
Wrapping presents (I freaking hate doing this. I am too much of a perfectionist, and the corners never seem to do right. Next year I think I am going to fully convert to gift bags.)
Having a zillion emails in my inbox
Wearing clothes that don't match the weather
Sick kids
Not enough sleep
Not enough time
Always being rushed
Messy cars (how is it that I just cleaned out my car 24 hours ago, and it is already a mess again?)
Messy house (how is it that I just cleaned my house 2 hours ago, and it is already a mess again?)
laundry

Rules for being in a good mood: Read list 1 over and over again.
Rules for being in a bad mood: Read list 2 over and over again.

So, I messed my computer up. Yep, I admit it. I did something really stupid and messed the whole thing up. But, thankfully I think I might have the hookup to get it fixed.

When I was dreaming last night I actually visualized my dell computer with real worms and other creepy crawlies coming out of it. Sleep tight, says Bill Gates.

I am at work trying to avoid anything that resembles work. But just in case, I have a stern look of concentration on my face while staring intensely at the computer, and I am letting my voice mail pick up all my calls. It is too beautiful outside to let this sweatshop get anything more out of me today.

So, this weekend, what I am going to do? Hum. Well first I am going to wish Miss, oops make that Mrs. Tracy a happy birthday. Having just celebrated a birthday myself, I think aging is a good thing. I don't necessarily get any smarter, but I do get wiser, if that makes any sense. I tend to talk less and listen more. I do seem to bitch quite a lot more, but I think that has to do with having more stuff to bitch about.

Tonight is Shabbat, and I am going to drink a whole bottle of wine. I deserve it and I want to have the room spinning sensation that accompanies a couple glasses of holy drink. My coworkers gave me a gift certificate to a specialty food shop, and I am going to stop by and pick up some good food. Tonight is going to be great. That is if Grace will be in a good mood. Speaking of Gracie, she is so beautiful. I just love to sit and stare at her. She is so wonderful. At first, I was a little worried, because I thought, how could I possibly love someone as much as I love Oliver. But, it just happens. She has a little attuide just like mine.

I can feel change in the air. Things are going to get better. They have to.

Hannah Grace Jones was born on 12/24/05 at 5:33 a.m.
She weighed 8 lbs and was 22 inches long.
Here hobbies include eating and sleeping.

Isn't she beautiful!?!

Wish it were Sunday, ooh ooh, cause that's my fun day. My I don't have to run day.

Since I took a vacation day Friday, this particular monday, is hard to deal with.

My mom came and visited me this weekend. I haven't seen her in about 6 months, so that was nice. She was really well behaved. I was proud of her. While she was here we found an awesome flea market. One that I will be frequenting. Summer is coming, and even though I know when it gets a 100 degrees, I am going to be wishing for cooler weather, I can't help but be excited. I am going to spend as much time as possible in the pool and cooking out. I think I might even put Grease in my netflix cue.

Oh, I almost forgot to say, while I was at the flea market it was pretty cold and I was wearing a short sleeve shirt. The first booth I got to had a leather, Stevie Nicks jacket. I so nabbed it (it was so cheap and genuine leather, AND it had fringes) I almost started singing Landslide, but I held it in. Although, I did get a compliment right after I put it on.

In other news my car is fixed. My car is fixed. My car is fixed. This is really good news, because it has taken a huge load off my shoulders. My brother in law fixed it and only charged me for parts.

My car broke and my cell phone broke. I just spent a buttload of money on my car and it still not running right. I just spent a buttload of time talking to the cellphone people to send me another phone. How is it that everytime I am on the phone with those people, I end up talking to someone for what seems like forever. But, they are sending me a flashy phone that flips.

Sometimes, I wish I could hide under the covers and not come out until the Fourth of July. <read that last line again, but this time sing it to the tune of Miss Mary Mac...) My son is making a huge racket in the bathroom, I just asked him what he was doing and he said "Practicing swimming" Oh boy, am I going to have a mess to clean up.

I was in a meeting all day long at work today, and I got weirded out. It seems that I was under the false impression that people who boss me around know more than they actually do. Not to say that I can match their 30 years of experience in the field. But, when it comes to computer stuff, I pretty much got them beat, and mind you people, everything in the banking industry nowadays is computerized.

But, let me say the experience that I am gaining at this job is going to be priceless. I am also suprised at how much responsibilty they keep piling on me. But, I just keep thinking, one day this is all going to pay off.

I am reading a book about meditation. Lord help me, my mind is racing from the moment I open my eyes in the morning till the moment I collapse in exhaustion at night. I am trying to teach myself to chill.

Saturday, Steven and I are going to a wine tasting. I am all about tasting some wine. I should probably do a little research on basic wine knowledge. Isn't that sad. I am a googler. Google is the way to knowledge. It is the path to enlightment. What did people do before the internet? I remember having to actually go to the library to look things up. You know Oliver is never going to know that. It is going to be like the whole I walked three miles in the snow with no shoes story. Except, I am going to be like:

a long time ago, back before there were Ipods, people actually had to read books and periodicals to get information. They couldn't just type a word in a search engine and get a zillion websites. And he is going to be like no way. And I am going to be like yeah, I am old.

Where does the time go? It is amazing how it flies by. I guess your whole young adult life, older people keep telling you that time flies, but you don't actually start believing it until you wake up and realize that you aren't going to live forever. I think that is when you lose your youth, when realize your own mortality. And I don't mean in an abstract, life sucks, everyone is going to die sort of way. When you start thinking of your own mortality you start thinking of all the things you haven't done. I remember being in elementary school, and saying when I grow up I am going to have a maid and be a millionaire, and I really believed it. I thought I was capable of anything, there were no boundaries. I could be a doctor and a lawyer with a nice house along with children and a husband that adored me. Omg, I wanted to be a Huckstable. Maybe maturity just means you learn about limitations, and you try and do your best with what you have.

I sometimes wonder about how different my life is from the life my parents led. It is funny, they are only in their 50's and I am already talking like their lives are over. I guess I mean that the part of their lives that I can relate to is over. I sort of feel sad for them. Their lives sort of sucked. Actually, their isn't a sort of, they really did suck. I can only hope that mine is better and that Oliver's is better then mine. Isn't that what we hope, that our children will have it better than we did. But, that doesn't let the kids off the hook. I feel responsible for what happens to my parents. My dad is going to have a MRI to see if a mass on his kidney is cancerous. I can't help but think, what if it is cancerous. I am going to have to take care of them. I am going to have to make sure they have a place to live and that they have food and medicine. This spooks me out. But I guess reality is spooky.

I want to take Steven to see Sin City (because I am good wife, hence the title of this post), but I don't think it is an appropiate move to bring a seven year old to.

So, I think he should go by himself, and I will take the boy to see another movie, or we will just hang out at the bookstore.

I read a National Geographic magazine from cover to cover last night. One of the articles was about the brain. Neurology has come a long way in the past ten years. It amazes how much we know and also how little we know about the brain (if that makes any sense)

There was also an article about Colombia (murder capital of the world), and honestly I don't even see how I can ever complain when there are people living in shacks with no running water or food, but I guess that is human nature. I guess the trick is to being happy with what you have. Sounds easier than it is.

I have been feeling like crap this whole month. The kind of crap feeling that makes me want to stay in bed for the next 24 days. I read my horoscope today and it said that 3 moons are backing up into my orbit. I am not sure what that means, but they made it sound really bad. I am thinking that if you are Pisces like me, we should head to the beach and lay low for the next month.

Speaking of the beach, we are going to Myrtle Beach for vacation this year. That way I can visit my family, and go surfing at the same time. I wish June would hurry up and get here.

Since, I write in a real life journal everyday, it is hard to remember if I update on the computer.

But anyway.

I just got a book in the mail from Amazon, and a movie from Netflix. It feels like my birthday.

Since, I quit smoking, I have become an avid gum chewer. Here's to gum, the anti-drug.

I had a wonderful half day at work yesterday. I got off early and got to spend some much needed quality time with my husband. We went out to lunch and invited a friend over and watched the Motorcycle Diaries. It was good, but a little slow. But, I enjoyed it anyhow. I think I am going to rent The Grudge next, I am in the mood for something scary.

Oliver has a field trip today, they are going to visit a farm. I feel guilty that I couldn't go with, but he will live.

I have to make a costume for him tonight, we have no idea what he is going to be. I am looking up ideas now.

Steven and I went on a book run and got some great deals at the Goodwill. I bought "The Things They Carried" for .25, hence the title of this post. War books are always so sad. It makes me think about the people in Iraq. It is funny, but I started thinking about how it would have been to live during the time of Vietnam. What the mentality was. The last conflict was with Korea, and then you had the whole WWII generation speculating about how these wars had nothing on them. I think a lot of that same mentality is present today. The whole there aren't enough people dying to call it a real war. I know I have been guilty of downplaying a lot of the soldier's sacrifices. Especially with me not agreeing with going to war to begin with. It is almost like I don't even want to think about it because of all the crap that has went on. The sexual abuse scandals, the whole lying about the reasons on why we are at war. But still we are there, and it sucks that the majority of people over there who are fighting are my age or younger. It just makes me sad. I just feel real conflicted over the whole thing.

I am trying to shake off a horrible mood. You know the kind that makes you want to scream just because someone talks to you. I am tired. I wasn't ready to come back to work.

Oliver woke up this morning and he is still coughing his little heart out. But, I still made him go to school. Poor thing. He is going to be a narrator in a school play tomorrow. He doesn't want to be a narrator, he wants to be a cow.

I am starting to feel better. Sometimes you have to coax yourself into a good mood. Or even a halfway decent mood.

Steven invited a friend from work over last night. She was nice, but a little weird.

I think there is a madness to living in Selma. You can't be exposed to so much crap and then not have it affect you at all.

Poor Steven is sick now. I think I gave him strep. He is going to get some antibiotics today.

testing, testing, 1...2...3...

You aren't going to believe what happened to me the other day. I go to the doctor because I feel like poopey, and my throat hurts really bad. Come to find out, I have strep throat This was the first time for me. I was an official step virgin. Anyway, the nurse gives me an antibiotic shot. I am standing up when she gives it to me. I pass out and hit my head on the ground. Now I have a sore throat and a head ache.

I rearranged my living room today. There is something about being on steroids that makes me want to lift heavy furniture.

Oh, and I converted to Judaism. For those of you who don't know, that means I am Jewish now. So, instead of saying Jesus Christ, I say Holy Moses.

I am going to try and update on a somewhat more regular basis.

Ok, so there is this semi/scam thing going around the internet. I actually know someone who got one (they had to sign up for BMG-music thing, sort of like Columbia House, but they got it) If 5 people click on my link, that is good. So, five people click on this link. If you think this is horrible, just ignore.

Hey-

Check out this great site that is giving away totally FREE iPods!

I've joined and I think you should as well.

It's a completely legitimate offer, and this company has already given away $4 million in FREE stuff!

All you have to do is join, complete an online offer, and refer friends to do the same. That's it!

Here is my referral link. To help me get my iPod, click this exact link to join, or copy and paste it into a browser:
http://www.freeiPods.com/?r=14179666

I need some help. Does anyone know of someone who would be interested in babysitting Oliver on Wednesday nights from approx. 6:40-8:40p.m. in the Montgomery area? If you know of anyone who is responsible and someone who you wouldn't be scared to leave your own kids with (if you had any) let me know.

Thanks.

Put on your yarmulke
Here comes Hanukkah
So much fun-akah
To celebrate Hanukkah

Hanukkah is the festival of lights
Instead of one day of presents we have eight crazy nights.
But when you feel like the only kid in town
without a Christmas tree
Here's a list of people who are Jewish...
just like you and me:

David Lee Roth lights the menorah
So do Kirk Douglas, James Caan, and the late Dinah Shore-ah.
Guess who eats together at the Carnegie Deli
Bowser from Sha-Na-Na, and Arthur Fonzerelli.
Paul Newman's half Jewish and Goldie Hawn's half, too
Put them both together - what a fine-looking Jew.
You don't need Deck The Halls or Jingle Bell Rock
'Cause you can spin the draydl
With Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock!

Put on your yarmulke
Here comes Hanukkah
The owner of the Seattle Supersonic-ah
Celebrates Hanukkah
O.J. Simpson...not a Jew!
But guess who is...Hall of Famer, Rod Carew!
We've got Ann Landers and her sister Dear Abby
Harrison Ford's one-quarter Jewish; not too shabby!
Some people think Ebenezer Scrooge is
But he's not - guess who is - all three Stooges!
So many Jews are in show biz
Tom Cruise isn't, but I think his agent is.

Tell your friend Veronica
It's time to celebrate Hanukkah!
I hope I get a harmonica
On this lovely, lovely Hanukkah!
So drink your gin and tonic-ah
But don't smoke marijuani-cah!
If you really wanni-cah
Have a Happy Happy Happy Hanukkah!

"Re-Defeat Bush"

"Save the Environment - Plant Bush back in Texas"

"No CARB - Cheney-Ashcroft-Rumsfield-Bush"

"If you can read this, Your not the President"

"Were all wearing the Blue Dress Now"

"Cut the Budget - Trim the Bush"

"Intelligence Failure? Elect Someone Intelligent."

"Gay Marriage Doesn't Scare Me - No Healthcare Does."

"War: Our Most Profitable Export"

"Democracy amBUSHed"

"Books Not Body Bags"

"Read between the pipelines."

"Who knew Jeb was the smart one?"

"No one died when Clinton lied."

"November 2nd - National Celibacy Day - No Bush, No Dick!"

"Yee-Ha" is not a foreign policy.

Thank you for supporting the "United, Not Divided" campaign. There's not much time left. The Senate is expected to vote on the Constitutional amendment on Wednesday, July 14th. The most important thing you can do right now is call your senators.
We've got to let them know that America is not falling for this cynical attempt to divide us. To make it easy, we've included their direct phone numbers below.

Please call your Senators now, at:

Senator Richard C. Shelby
Direct: (202) 224-5744

Senator Jeff Sessions
Direct: (202) 224-4124

Urge them to:

"Protect marriage equality for everyone --
Vote NO on the Federal Marriage Amendment."

You can also sign a petition on www.moveon.org

It has been a while since I have updated about what is going on in Melissa World. So here goes:

~I am deeply, madly in love with my husband. He is the most awesome man on earth and knows exactly how to make me laugh. It also helps that he is hot.
~I have lost 66 pounds since January. I don't think you can really tell, but the scale does not tell a lie. Dieting is hard, but it isn't really that hard. I have never been on a diet before. And I guess it is good that I don't look at it as a diet but as wake up call. Knowing is half the battle, and what I didn't know about healthy eating could fill volumes. But I am working hard, but I still have a LONG way to go. But slow and steady wins the race.
~Selma sucks. I don't mind living here because I got the family and the job. But the city really sucks. Crime and poverty is huge. But this is a stepping stone. "Stepping stone" has become my new mantra.
~Cable internet is da bomb. I don't know how I survived before.
~Susie May (my car) has air conditioning. Which has made me believe in miracles again. Going through an Alabama summer without ac in the car is like... I can't think of a metaphor because it is so bad.
~Oliver is doing so good. He has been so sweet. I am lucky to have such a good kid.

Alas, I am tired and must go to bed soon.

Good night all.

Just got back from The Big Easy. I must say it was a great trip (at least what little of it I can remember)

On a more serious note, you shouldn't be in New Orleans unless you are drunk. nuff said.

Just a little more advice. Hangovers and train rides are not a good combination.

I just got a new car. Well, new to me. I love it. It was Erika's grandmothers and it is amazing how much she took care of it. It is sort of inspiring. It makes me want to keep everything I have until it falls apart just because that is what we are supposed to do anyway. I often wonder why things aren't made to last anymore. You would think with all the environmental problems and all the trash piling up in landfills it would hip to take care of things and make them last. But, that doesn't seem to work with our capitilastic culture. The name of the car is Sallie Mae. I just hope she is as good to me as she was to her old mommy.

In other news, I went to see my mother. She is doing well and was super excited about my car. Sometimes, it is nice to have people feel good for you. There is something to be said for goodwill.

As I was driving home from Mothers, it started raining really hard. On my old car the windshield wipers had stopped working. You never know how important those things are until they don't work anymore. When I turned them on in my new car and they worked it was the best feeling in the world. It is amazing how much we take the small things for granted.

I need to finish cleaning my house and doing the laundry. Hope everyone had a good weekend.